I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
