I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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