He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
