That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
