I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
