yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
