I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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