Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
