I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
