I want to stick my p in your. b.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
