im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
