You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
