So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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