This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
