Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
