I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
