Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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