I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
