When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
