He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
