come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
