I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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