brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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