I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
