it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my being single is dangerous.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
