haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
