Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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