it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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