Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
