It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
