u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
