so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
