Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
