I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
