her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
