he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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