Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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