someone get that fucking seahorse.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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