Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
