i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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