I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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