My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I have post one night stand depression
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
