Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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