Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
two words: eviction party
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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