no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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