My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
