Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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