have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
