In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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