just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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