Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
